Why you do not have a soulmate
On the issue of a soulmate, I used to believe entirely and without question that for every one of us, there is a God-made companion. Someone that is a perfect complement, a perfect mate, one that will love you back exactly the way you love them. Not more, not less. One that will accept your imperfections and defects, exactly the same way you would accept theirs. But as I grew a little older, and perhaps also a little wiser, I could not help but start raising some questions around the subject of a soulmate…
- First of all, what happens when you or your soulmate untimely die? For example, say you meet your soulmate at 25 years of age, you are married for 5 years, and an accident or any unfortunate incident claims your soulmate’s life. As unfortunate as it is, you are now in your thirties, and have a possibility of living for the next 40 years alone? What happens when your lifespan is not synchronised with that of your perfect mate? Does it mean you should also die with them? Or does it mean that you should find a replacement soulmate? Or does it mean that for the fact that they died, they were not your soulmate to begin with…?
- Where do you find that soulmate? Is your soulmate always going to be within your reach? What if you are born in China, and your perfect complement is born in Nigeria, however none of you have the financial means to travel and ever meet each other. How do you overcome that?
- What happens if your perfect complement is only born when you are 80 years of age? When they are only 20 years of age you would be 100? It could be worse, your perfect complement could have lived decades and centuries before your birth…or perhaps still to be given birth to sometime after your death.
Pondering these questions, the existence of a soulmate started to look highly unlikely. It seems like God would need to “bend over backwards” for each one of us so that we meet our soulmates at the perfect time, under perfect conditions and also to ensure that our lives after meeting are in synchronisation and we die same day, hour, minute and second with them. Also, to safeguard that there are no false positives (i.e., mistakenly identifying someone as your soulmate, whereas they are not), a men’s reproductive organ, would be like a key that could only unlock one lock, his soulmate’s reproductive organ. As it is, a men’s reproductive organ is like a master key, it can unlock any woman’s lock.
Why then do we think that there are soulmates?
My theory on the subject is that as humans we want validation of our choices. When we make a choice, we want someone other than ourselves to “confirm” that we have made the right choice. This somehow rids us of the worry that we have made an incorrect decision. So when we find a mate, it is not enough that our parents and friends approve. We want God to also approve. So we go on a quest to convince ourselves that, the partner that we so much love, is our soulmate. Because soulmate, means that God not only approved but has made you for each other. Your partner has been chosen for you and you have been chosen for your partner by the omniscience God, the almighty. Mmmmhhh, Isn’t that comforting?