Beauty fades but quality remains
In the early stages of my life, the girl next door was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was the one, the only, I could have married her if I was of legal age and had the necessary resources.
Fast forward to a few years later, a girl a couple of blocks away, overtook my neighbour. She in my eyes was the most beautiful creature to ever grace my village.
Time passed again, and the girl in my primary school overshadowed all the girls I had crumbled for before.
Where am I going with this? Or do you see the trend already?
As I grew up, my world was also growing and expanding, thereby creating ample of opportunity to bump into new faces and interact with new people, as a direct consequence I of being exposed to more populaces, my perception of the world was forcibly and irrevocably altered. I can continue with the story, but the result was always the same: in high school, at varsity, and then at work. The fact is that the more your sphere expands, the better the chances are that you will find something “better” than you already have, better than you already know and/or better than you are used to.
Since growing never stops, and meeting new people continues to happen on a daily basis, several questions immediately come to mind:
1. What informs a person’s decision to settle for what they have, for what they know, for what they are used to? Especially knowing very well that “the best” is still yet to come. With full knowledge that ahead, something better is still to cross paths with you.
2. Do the people in committed relationships or exclusive relationships or married stop seeing :
a. “better” than what they have?
b. “better” than what they know?
c. “better” than what they are used to?
3. Put in another way, if I had married the first girl that I thought was my everything (i.e., the girl next door) would the expansion of my world have left me in regret?
4. Which girl should I have married? Or marry?
Well, my theory to this is that, as we grow old, there are other qualities that determine the survivability of a relationship other than just beauty. The brain and its logic want to dictate that qualities such as honesty, respect, selflessness, openness, boldness and humour usually prove decisive. However very often than not, we find ourselves attracted not to these logically superior and positive qualities, it is the inferior and negative qualities that brings about the promise of an exciting and thrilling relationship. We are attracted to the defects that we subconsciously strongly think that we can fix. This challenge of continuously striving to fix the defects in our spouse is what promises an unpredictable relationship. Whereas, if there is nothing to fix and all the positive qualities are in place, then there will be nothing to fix and render the possible relationship predictable, dull and boring, in such an instance, attraction fails to even launch. In the end thereof, beauty is of a minor factor in determining a lifelong partner, because it is not constant it changes with time. Beauty fades and qualities remain.